Fate Breakers
by DragoonKnight Agnim
Summary: to be a Hero you don't need to be great, just unique; to break order you don't have to be evil, just different; the fate of 3 worlds will depend on an underage hero, a willing hero, a master magician and more chaos than you can imagine; MLP-FIM/HP/FSN rating T for the moment


Chaos Breaker

FSN/HP/MLP X-over

(Mage POV)

Bored, Bored, BOred, BORed, BOREd, BORED

I am utterly and completely

BORED

Those where the Thoughts of Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg, the Wizard Marshal, Master (yes with the capital M) of the Kaleidoscopic Magic, Prankster Extraordinary and Top Position of the most feared Magus on the Planet, even if the Blue managed to blow up and Archipelago, and 2 Mountains, one of those was Volcano. He alone put the world in such chaos that heroes were needed every century, especially when he tried a recreation of Majoras Mask, (it was a Pain in the Arse to paint a smile face on the moon but so much worth it).

Don't get him wrong, he isn't evil, but after living centuries one tend to get mad or get hobbies to pass time, many look to create the perfect story, others to matchmaking (hmm have to make sure Lady Seto's ship get strangled on other galaxy) pranks; Zelretch wanted to get that one, but in the end his hobby and passion is Balance. A very fickle lady that one, if the world is plunged into Chaos he would bring or aid heroes in their quest, if the Order was too much Orderly, a simple prank or action to bring enough Chaos to keep that balance, for if it tip too much for either side the world would blow up, or simply be too boring, and if needed he would step and save the day, or night that depends on the hour.

Not even having buggering the Clock Tower Association or taking an apprentice, (she had to be a genius, oh they were so boring) cured this boring_ness, Oh how he missed his old buddy. If this continued he would have to start playing again or worse take a vacation (trust me nothing good comes form that) , mm there is that meteorite coming to Russia, maybe if I…

Clank. Clonk crack

Mmm, something interesting is happening, nobody tries to get near him, much less enter his workshop, a single lighting spell and he would be happy for the day; yet the anticipation told him to wait.

When the door swung open his face was filled with glee, for in front of him was the only other person that doesn't flees from his presence, (he still owns Waver 6 pounds) a Chaotic Hero (this are the best for they protect balance ignoring Order, or simply becoming Anti-Heroes) unwilling harem Boy (The Harem must be Feed) and ex of his current apprentice; and for his expression reflected a clear need for help.

This is going to be much FUN.

"So the Clock tower has discovered your investigation, Miss Luviangelita has been asking for your hand, the Einzbern along with Lady Barthomelloi want your head (not specification which one) and Dear Aoko Aozaki is mad at you for stealing a peek, while Waver and Sirius exploded a distraction before my apprentice manage to find you" it was more of an statement, but with such a glee that he had in years, at Shirou`s nod, he started to calculate mentally how much Popcorn and Mountain Dew, he would need.

Of course some things were out of context, the clock tower wanted to put a Designation Seal on him for his ability on Reality Marbles since they are forbidden knowledge, Kitsurugi Emiya had made a previous Marriage Contract with the Edelfelt Family for when he had a son; the Einzbern only want to kill him for corrupting their homunculus, while the witch queen needs get laid, and this is where his friends tried to negotiate with them but instead they managed to blow a train station sending poor Shirou flying directly into the a bathroom of the Hotel Prince coincidentally the same room and bathroom currently used by the BLUE, while she was singing in the shower, it was only than fact that London was still on foot that she had yet to completely react; but then again few facts wouldn't stop him from a little bit of fun.

"So what can I do to help you Emiya?" the pure mirth was unmistakable, "I mean aren't you a hero of Justice? Defeater of the great king Gilgamesh?" this was only to discover how much desperate was his new subject.

"I know, but if things escalate, then other might be caught in the crossfire, Waver-san and Sirius-san are already in trouble because of me, then who is next, Sakura? Rin? Taiga-nee?" How noble "besides I only need to lay low for things to calm down"

Interesting, he wants to fight but not at the cost of his friends or third parties, but the fact half the people hunting him are female…. Ah, no wonder he was running away. A quick check on the other dimensions revealed his possible futures.

Go to Japan, found mother and get a harem of Aliens

Go to Japan, then summoned to a dimension of a Loli-Tsundere, and another Harem

Go to Japan and up in a School full of Magical Girls, again Harem

Hide in my lab, find the Bestia Calamitas (Primate Murder) die and go to another Dimension filled with Magical Girls, again harem

Goes to America, kills sparkling vampires and gains a chiropteran harem

Bores him, ended in another dimension just for the purpose of an entertainment... And harem of course

Stays, build and harem from his hunters, then marry his friends making a big clan that needs the King of heroes as a nanny

Travels to mid Asia, ends in the clutches of Alaya as a Counter Guardian…hhmmm interesting no apparent harem here (1)

That is not possible the harm must be FEED

Loki was right, planning amusement from chaotic heroes is hard, but will be rewarding on the end, but now he wanted something different, Shirou was still here looking at him expectantly and having the occasional shiver, dam he must be really desperate, now how to make it good, funny, and different, his amusement ended when his gaze rested on a refreshment and a devious and brilliant idea centered on his mind.

"Shirou, I think I have the solution but I have to know if you are really sure" his brilliant mind already working overtime in creating new entertainment variables that will change depending on Shirou`s mentality, personality and psychological problems (take that Freud, and you said I could never learn to apply your psico-blabla on another human) as his target nodded, he actually had to suppress the sudden impulse to cackle madly.

"Quick, follow me, I actually know a safe place with an old comrade of mine" Wizard Marshals don't, by law of awesomeness, skip they only bounce because their magical prowess made it impossible for gravity to latch no them.

Shirous POV

A quick door appeared in the middle of the room was opened, inside it you could gaze to a medieval France, he stopped trembling and stepped after the Magus; yet after entering other doors appeared, and Zelretch was mumbling about random chance and the right door, taking the door to the right they almost missed being hit by a blue police box.

This time they ended in a British suburb, if the direction he was reading was right they were in Surrey at the middle of the night. Still following him to what appeared to be a Private Drive when the light failed for a couple of seconds, only to return immediately.

At least they were on the far away from the Clock Tower, it never occurred him they were in another dimension. His musings were interrupted by the cries of a child, even the treat of death would never stop him, Shirou Emiya, self proclaimed Hero of Justice during high school, and son of the Magus Killer, from helping others, the fact that a baby was abandoned in a front door of number 4 yet nobody seems to go out for him made him act.

Before thinking and actually forgetting he was with the worlds most dangerous magic user, prankster and plain crazy Apostole, he made his mistake and let Zerletch out of his sight as he grabbed the basket holding the crying child, in a heartily attempt to keep the toddler warn on this cold night. A small letter was next to the bundle, so he just picked it and started reading it; maybe I had information on the child.

"Shirou come here" the Wizard Marshall called him, yet he only walked in his direction, a baby on his right arm, while he read the letter, if he had been paying more attention he would have reasoned that this child still had a family, or the fact that he stopped near a funny looking gate made of stained glass; he was so engrossed in the parallels of him and the small child on his arms that he actually forgot why he was running for help to the most unpredictable being alive.

Loosing everything at young age, no memories of his parents, being lost in the world till they were rescued by a Magus, who was lamenting not being able to prevent the tragedy in first place (2). "Is this how you felt Otousan" he mumbled to himself after seeing the happy smile Harry, the child in his arms, gave him.

He then felt a feet on his stomach, not a kick, just one resting on him, gazing upwards he encountered with the owner of said foot, while an almost maniacal smile adorned its face, the sense of dread came tenfold at that.

"This is it, on there you can hide, nobody will look for you" before he could ask or even open his mouth, Zelretch kicked him in the gates "remember to look out for the ruler of the realm, he is my old friend ant tell send him my regards" and with that the gates closed, while he was flung to another world, baby in arms and all.

Normal POV

The Magus was actually dancing with joy, yet nobody seems to care since many others were doing the same, he was celebrating the opportunity to create randomness at the expense of others, annoy his old buddy, and maybe frustrate the plan of several other people made his day (3).

Then he halted abruptly, remembering a not so funny incident that his old friend did in revenge for his last prank, not for the prank but for the fact he didn't actually called, write or at least send a message, with a quick wave of his hand a pen full of birds appeared alongside an oven and a funny looking willow.

He quickly plucked a feather from a Quetzal, while the bark of the tree became parchment and proceed to write.

_Dear Discord …LOSER_

_Hi buddy, how is the land of candy treating you, did you got bored of ruling?, don't worry just I just send one, maybe two Chaos Breakers, would have thrown that Harris Kid but it wouldn't be as funny, no you can't send another slender man in response they are a stick on the mud, enjoy and send them back when bored they still need to make things interesting here._

_Your even better looking friend _

_Kischur Zelretch Schweinorg_

_Psst: enjoy the Pie_

_Psst2; no I am not sending another chimera_

_Psst3: …. Haha a made you read_

Another wave and from the oven a big pie appeared, he just put the letter inside it, and after a quick enchantment for it to appear 5 minutes after being woken up, he launched it to the portal.

And nobody will know the result of the next events, until they passed of course and he planned on watching everything.

Just wantd to make some funny nonsense, expect the unexpected as this is more of a fun writing,

Just a quick possible story, hope it was funny enough, if it doesn't make sense remember they are 2 non-evil beings of chaos involved. I am trying to use a Shirou mixture of Heavens Feel or Antaraxia (the one were Illya gained the Grail and Shirou`s body was too damaged) and Unlimited Blade Works.

(1) This dimensions are other fics, a cookie for the one to name them all; the last one was the original Archer

(2) Remember his most big ambition after the hero of justice Gig, was to be like his father, so the opportunities for it can make him a bit unreasonable

(3) Who doesn't enjoy making ripples on the pond?


End file.
